From the Pastor - First Sunday of Advent

December 1, 2023

Today we begin the beautiful and holy season of Advent. With all that we have going on this time of year, it’s no wonder Advent does not always seem to get the attention it deserves. But if we will commit to living this season well, we will experience a deeper conversion to Christ and find real transformation in our lives as Christian stewards.


Why? Advent calls us not only to look back in grateful contemplation of Christ’s first coming, but it also calls us to look forward in preparation for His Second Coming. Advent is a time to reset and regroup, to repent over any misplaced priorities, to turn our minds and hearts back to God while we still have time. We do so not out of fear or guilt, but rather, out of gratitude for Love Incarnate lying in a manger bed.


Whatever we feel God calling us to do this Advent — committing to a daily Gospel reflection, visiting a lonely neighbor, or donating money to those in dire need — there is no time to waste.


Jesus makes this clear in our Gospel passage from Matthew. He tells the parable of a man going off on a journey. Before he leaves, he “places his servants in charge, each with his own work.” We, of course, are the servants in this parable, each with a mission to accomplish in building the Kingdom of God. Jesus warns us over and over in this passage to remain vigilant to the work He has given us to do because we do not know when we will be called to give an account for it.


Our lives are a gift. This holy season is a gift. Let us recommit to living the stewardship way of life. Love came down to us as a Baby. And He is coming again. Be watchful! © Catholic Stewardship Consultants, 2023

 

Pastoral Pondering

I have been doing Catechism in a Year with Father Mike Schmitz and, at present, we’ve been going through the 10 commandments (Life in Christ). Coincidentally (or Providentially), I have also recently had several questions regarding divorce, marriage, and pre-marriage issues. Hence, I thought it would be a good time to address a couple of them.


First, let’s look at pre-marital cohabitation. The Catechism deals with this under two headings, fornication (#2353) and trial marriage (#2391). Fornication is described as carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young. Trial marriage would be “institutionalizing” fornication in a way. It is treating a person as a thing. I will test drive a new car. I should not “test drive” a future spouse!


Sadly, pre-marital cohabitation and fornication have almost become (if not actually) simply accepted as part of the normal course of things. We encounter a high percentage of those seeking marriage to already be living together. Usually, this does not arise from any type of malice but rather an ignorance of basic moral teaching. It is, after all, the “Tik Tok” generation.


Those preparing couples must spend time explaining the basics of why such behavior is wrong and, in the long run, detrimental to the health and well-being of marriage. Marriage requires both remote and proximate preparation. Beginning with children early and teaching about virtues and the beauty of God’s plans for marriage and family can start at the early ages. As children get older, the preparation continues.


When adult children make the decision to cohabit, parents can do a great deal in helping with these situations by standing up to illicit behavior. If the couple still has some dependency on the parents, this may require not continuing such support and certainly not funding the wedding if they are going to start off on the wrong foot, so to speak. Stating opposition but continuing to support in some way sends a confusing message.


We must love the sinner but hate the sin. The often-heard “I don’t want to alienate them or hurt their feelings” doesn’t go very far when we are dealing with sinful behavior. We have to love them enough to let them know that their behavior is putting their souls in danger. Far better to cause discomfort on this side of eternity than allowing shock when they reach the other side. To some degree the same principles apply when dealing with children choosing to marry outside the Church. Parents can do a great deal to address these issues when children are young enough to be formed and understand the consequences of contravening the laws of God. And all can be done in a way that presents God’s loving plan for marriage and family. Father Mike does this well in Catechism in a Year.



Finally, when we encounter couples in these situations, we do our best to form them and help them understand the importance of living chastely in preparing for marriage. Cohabitation before marriage is noted as a contributing factor to future divorce and marital instability. It is important that perspective spouses understand this and do whatever is necessary to place their future marriage on the best foundation possible. The world, the flesh and the devil are always trying to destroy. We need to do our part to push back and offer the beautiful truth of chaste, marital love.


From the Pastor

From the Pastor - 26th Sunday in Ordinary Time

By John Putnam • September 25, 2026
As Christian stewards, we are called to a high and holy standard — living as Christ’s disciples every day and with every person the Lord places in our path. But we can move towards this goal in “baby steps.” Jesus demonstrates this comforting truth through the parable He tells in today’s Gospel from Matthew. It is the story of two sons whose father instructs them to go out and work in his vineyard that day. While the second son agrees to his father’s request, he does not follow through — he fails to obey the father’s will. The first son tells his father, “no.” At least he is honest! And in the end, he reconsiders and obeys his father. The first son’s honest, less-than-perfect response is consoling to us Christian stewards. Haven’t we all felt this way at times when God’s will for us seems to be just too hard? We can be honest with God at these times. He knows our thoughts already, after all. But when we stay engaged in a real relationship with Him, even if it’s just to say, “I don’t think I can, Lord,” He will supply us with just the grace we need to change our minds and do what He is asking us to do. We can even take a step backward from time to time because our Father is merciful and kind. What matters is that we keep baby-stepping along, assured of the grace we need to more closely imitate the actions and attitudes of Christ. This is the beauty of the stewardship way of life. ©Catholic Stewardship Consultants, 2026 Pastoral Pondering On the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows, the other priests, seminarians, and I, had the opportunity to attend the Final Solemn Profession of Sister Mary Lucia, DVM. It was a moving experience, and I thought it a good occasion to reflect on the importance of religious life in the life of the parish and the life of the Church. Every Sunday we gather as one family: families in the pews, single adults, children, the elderly, deacons, priests, seminarians, and, often quietly among us, men and women who have given their whole lives to God by the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. They are not a side chapel of the Church. They stand at her heart. “The consecrated life is at the very heart of the Church as a decisive element for her mission.” — Pope St. John Paul II, Vita Consecrata What does that mean for us here at Saint Mark’s? It means that the Church is poorer—less herself—whenever we forget those who have left everything to follow Christ with an undivided heart. Baptism already consecrates every Christian. Consecrated life is a further, public, stable response to that same baptismal grace: a way of making the face of Jesus—poor, chaste, and obedient—visible in the middle of an age that is often restless, acquisitive, and self-directed. A living sign of the world to come The Catechism teaches that those who profess the evangelical counsels “signify and proclaim in the Church the glory of the world to come.” In other words, a sister who owns nothing, a brother who lives in community, a contemplative who prays through the night, a consecrated virgin living in the world, a missionary who goes where no one else will go—each of them is a living reminder that this world is not our final home. Their lives preach what our words sometimes only hint at: God is enough. That witness is not a luxury. In a culture that measures worth by productivity, possessions, and personal autonomy, consecrated men and women quietly insist that love can be total, that freedom is found in gift, and that joy does not depend on having more. They are, as one religious recently put it, a kind of medicine for the whole Body of Christ—an antidote to our easy compromises with comfort and control. Many forms, one gift Consecrated life is not one mold. From the earliest centuries there have been hermits and virgins, monks and nuns, itinerant preachers and teachers, nurses and missionaries. Today the Church recognizes religious institutes of contemplative and apostolic life, societies of apostolic life, secular institutes, consecrated virgins and widows, and the eremitic life. Some live behind cloister walls. Some staff our schools, hospitals, and missions. Some remain in ordinary workplaces while belonging entirely to Christ. All of them exist for the holiness of the whole Church. History itself testifies to this. The faith was planted and the poor were served in large part because religious families poured themselves out. That work continues. When we thank God for Catholic education, for care of the sick, for quiet hours of adoration offered for souls we will never meet, we are often thanking consecrated persons we may never see. What this asks of us First, gratitude. If a religious sister taught you the faith, if a priest of a religious order heard your confession on retreat, if a contemplative community has prayed for this parish, thank God for them—and, when you can, thank them. Second, prayer for vocations. The Lord still calls. He calls from our families, our youth groups, our college campuses, and our pews. Parents, do not be afraid if your son or daughter begins to wonder about religious life. That question is not a loss to the family; it may be one of the greatest gifts a family can offer the Church. Young people: if the thought of giving everything to Christ will not leave you alone, do not smother it. Speak with a priest or a consecrated person you trust. The Church needs the diversity and richness of these charisms. Third, our own fidelity. Consecrated life does not replace the vocation of marriage or the single life in the world. It illuminates them. The vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience are a concentrated form of what every disciple must live in some measure: detachment, purity of heart, and obedience to the Father’s will. When religious are faithful, the whole parish is strengthened. When we in the pews are faithful to our own state of life, we honor the same Lord they serve. The Church will never be without this gift, because Christ Himself is poor, chaste, and obedient, and He continues to draw men and women into that pattern of life. Let us esteem it. Let us pray for those who live it. And let us ask the Lord of the harvest to send laborers—not only priests, but sisters, brothers, and all who will make His way of life visible among us.  We thank God for the witness of the Daughters of the Virgin Mother who serve here at St. Mark and for all of the religious in the Diocese of Charlotte who give witness to the beauty of consecrated life.

From the Pastor - 25th Sunday in Ordinary Time

By John Putnam • September 18, 2026
Though we can never fully comprehend the perfection of God and His ways, Sacred Scripture reminds us that God's ways are often very different from our own. In our First Reading from Isaiah, the Lord declares, "My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways." As His disciples, we are called to see life from God's perspective, using our time, talents, and treasure with eternity in mind. In today's Gospel, Jesus illustrates this divine perspective through the parable of the workers in the vineyard. Some labor all day, while others are called only near the end of the day. Yet the landowner gives each worker the same wage. Those who worked the longest grumble because they are thinking according to human standards rather than God's generosity. The same temptation can affect us. We may compare ourselves to others and wonder whether everyone else is contributing as much as we are at home, in our parish, or in our community. Instead, we should remember what a privilege it is to have been invited into the Lord's vineyard. Living the stewardship way of life fills our lives with meaning, purpose, and lasting joy. May we thank God each day for calling us to share in His work. ©Catholic Stewardship Consultants, 2026 Pastoral Pondering Why the Church — and Society — Should Welcome Children God’s first blessing on man and woman was not a burden: “Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). The Catechism calls children “the supreme gift of marriage.” They are not an accessory to married love. They spring from the spouses’ gift of self. Marriage is ordered to the good of husband and wife and to the procreation and education of children. The Church does not assign a number. She teaches a truth: married love, by its nature, is open to life. A gift, not a possession A child is a person, never a product. Couples do not have a “right to a child.” The child has rights: to be received as a gift, to be the fruit of his or her own father and mother, and to be respected from conception. When we welcome children we cooperate with the Creator. Responsible parenthood is generous discernment before God — not selfish delay, and not closing the marital act against life. For serious reasons a couple may space births. Natural Family Planning honors both the unitive and procreative meanings of marriage. Large families, received with joy, remain a sign of blessing. Couples who cannot conceive are not forgotten: their marriages can still be fruitful in charity, hospitality, and spiritual fatherhood and motherhood. Good for the Church. Good for the city. The family is the first school of the Gospel — and the foundation of the common good. Nations endure when men and women marry, stay faithful, welcome children, and raise them in virtue. Children are not a private hobby. They are tomorrow’s neighbors, workers, caregivers, citizens, and saints. A culture that treats fertility as a problem, delays marriage, or is indifferent to the unborn mortgages its own future. Advocates in public life Families also need a voice beyond the parish. The American Principles Project works to place the family at the center of public debate: parental rights, the protection of childhood, the defense of life, and policies that make it more possible for the young to marry and raise children. A bulletin is not a campaign flyer. The Church baptizes no political organization. Catholics may differ on particular tactics. We may not differ on this: marriage, children, and a parent’s duty are not partisan inventions. They belong to the natural law and to the Gospel. Here at Saint Mark’s Encourage the young couples in the pews. Thank the families who fill our Masses with life. Walk with those who wait for a child. Learn NFP as the Church teaches it. Speak and vote as people who believe every child is a gift. And if God is asking your household for another act of generosity, do not be afraid. He who blesses does not abandon. Children are not a threat to our future. They are our future — and a living sign that God has not finished creating.